I Yell at My Kids

I hear this all. the. time. in our office.

Some parents blurt it out when we first meet and some parents wait to tell us, once they know we won't judge them for it. The kids who get yelled at show up differently in the playroom, so these parent confessions do not really come as a surprise. Most every parent is ashamed that they do this. Most parents believe they "should" know another way. Most parents believe their kid doesn't deserve it (this is not true- many kids do deserve it- but that's another blog).

People who yell are people who do not feel heard.

The question that matters here is: whaddya do about it? The answer depends on what is happening that causes you to not feel heard. It could be you're not clear. It could be your children don't care. It could be your kids don't feel heard, so they're not interested in hearing you. It's usually a spaghetti bowl mess of factors.

Goodness knows, the parent who can figure out why it's happening and consistently take all the steps to change it, is probably not on this website, reading this blog. For some things, there is no "hack" or "method" and you're not missing some critical piece of obscure information that will unlock the magical "patience" cheat code. This is not a "Five Step Method" or ChatGPT-will-get-me-through-it kinda thing.

Becoming a parent who doesn't have to yell is a seismic shift in your point of view. It's a seismic shift in your kid's point of view. Followed by days and days of rowing your boat at full pressure, until your child and your family is something so much more than you thought it could be. This is the thing we do at Boca Child Counseling: we give you clarity of vision and we are the coxswain for you, as you find your swing and glide into a new life together.

By the end of it, you and your child and your family will be in a new place. Imagine speaking softly and working together. Imagine getting help from everyone. Imagine hugs and snuggles and laughter together. Imagine an abundance of gratitude and deep sense of peace. Imagine others expressing envy of the family you've built. Imagine opportunities for your children falling open at their feet, for their taking.

It's possible. I've seen it happen. Over and over. Give us a call.